Being patient isn't exactly one of my greatest traits. I want things when I want them. And I would much rather enjoy a life where I didn't have to wait around for answers. But patience makes us better people. So I know i have to learn to be a little more patient.
I am a planner. I plan out literally every aspect of my life. And I have had it planned out since I was like 10 years old. However I am learning that life can't be planned out. I had a timeline created: at age 24 I would get married, at age 26/27 I would have my first child, and prior to these two things happening I would have a job making the big bucks to support a family. But let's take a look at my life as it stands now. I am 22 years old. There is no way I will be married in two years. I don't have a good paying job, I don't even have a full time job at the moment. And if I am not getting married in 2 years than I am CERTAINLY not having children by 26. Now this timeline runs through my head on a regular basis. And it depresses me. I feel like a failure, how did I let my life get this off track?
But lately I have been beginning to see, ya know who cares about this timeline? Good things happen to those that wait... or so they say right? So instead of trying to push things to align with my timeline, I should just take life as it comes. With that being said... I AM STILL WAITING TO HEAR BACK FROM THIS JOB! And it is seriously driving me crazy! I just want to know. Because if I get this job a whole bunch of new doors will open for me. Not only that, but whether I get the job or not is going to be the deciding factor on when I can go visit my family. And I REALLY REALLY need to see them!
I also need to be patient in my social life. Lately I have made some new friends at work. I just had to wait a bit! And now I am going out with them to the Food and Wine Festival tomorrow. Which I CAN NOT WAIT FOR! Another thing I need to be patient about. I always wish I could just fast forward to the fun days instead of living the day that is right in front of me. Because in the end every day counts. I am looking forward to things in my future. I just have to be patient enough to get to that point.
All the crappy things I have been dealing with lately, they are just experiences to make me tougher. And in my opinion I am one tough cookie. I have been through some pretty ridiculous things, and I am sure others have had much worse lives... But I am proud of the person I have become. With a little patience, and a little faith, there is no telling what my future will bring for me! I hope you all continue to find your clarity in the chaos!
Until next time...
XOXO
Katlin
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