Instead of a photo this time around, I decided to start out with a video. I am not sure if everyone knows this song. But at the moment, these lyrics are really hitting home. So listen along as you read along.
I am currently going through some rough days. Actually rough months. And I really think it is because I started to lose myself again. It is so easy to get caught up in day to day routines, that we forget to be happy. And we forget about the truly important things that spark our passion, and our creativity. And I have fallen into that rut of life.
First let me do a really quick update since it has been 4 months since I posted last (which by the way is completely terrible and obviously falls into the category of me not making time for the things I love). So here it goes, I finally got full time and Disney!! It took A LOT of patience. I mean a lot, and most of the time I wasn't patient at all about it (clearly another quality I need to work harder at). But I made it, with full-time comes a lot more hours, a lot more money, which is fantastic, but also a lot less "ME" time. So I have become so consumed in work that I almost never have fun. I almost never go out and do the things I want to do, because I am either picking up shifts to pay bills, or I am just too tired to leave the house.
Next important update you all need to know. I FINALLY GOT A NEW CAR! Yes I am soooo happy about this I can barely put into words the happiness I feel! It has been a long time coming! And the car is worth every penny. But as you all know with a new car comes new bills. New bills means I need more money, and how do I get this money? Well by working all the time. So are you seeing the cycle now?
Since we cleared that up lets continue. Most days I wake up feeling completely miserable. I have all these ideas in my head. All these things I WANT to do, but never do. And recently it has come to my attention that, at any moment I could just drop dead. Let's be honest, we never know when our time is coming. We just live day to day and no one's future is guaranteed. So why would I want to spend my last day doing something that I hate? Or something that I only do because I have to in order to survive? Instead I REALLY want to start putting aside some time in order to do what I love. I am going to leave a list of things I want to start doing more, and I think you all should make a list too, of things you love but maybe haven't committed to in awhile, or new things that you have always wanted to try but just kinda push to the side because life gets in the way. Then anytime you start feeling as I do now... look at your list and dedicate some time to doing one or even all of them. I truly believe that the only way to be happy is by staying passionate about what you love.
Remember it's not always rainbows and butterflies, sometimes life straight up sucks. But that doesn't mean we all can't dedicate a few days or even a few hours to creating our own gleam of happiness. Lately the chaos has been slowly over taking my life, and I think it's time I start seeing some clarity again. If any of you ever feel as I do, or just want to talk sometime leave me a comment I would love to hear the struggles of my readers.
My Happiness List:
1. Dancing: any type really but I want to get into salsa, ballroom, and pole dancing (it is really good exercise in case you are sketched out)
2. Photography: I want to do a themed photo shoot as they do on America's Next Top Model.
3. BLOGGING: I am doing this now, and I can't even tell you the happiness/ weight lifted from my shoulders just expressing words and emotions.
4. Volunteering: I really want to volunteer at a women's battered shelter, or some place where women can go when they are depressed. I want to be able to help people gain confidence and feel good about themselves.
5. Poetry: I want to start writing poetry, I have really gotten into this slam poetry business. I don't know if I personally would do slam poetry, but I would love to start with some small poetry pieces first and see where it takes me.
6. Music: I love music probably more than anything in this world because I connect whole heartily to the lyrics. I can't play music but I want to go to more live concerts, and maybe even some coffee shops!
7. Modeling: I have been wanting to model now for awhile. I just need more practice, and I need to put together a portfolio.
8. Hair and Make-Up: I want to learn to french braid, and do smokey eyes. I just want make more time to practice with my hair and make-up so I have more options for my photo shoots.
This is a start of my list. I hope you guys have enjoyed reading.Until Next TimeXOXO, Katlin
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