The thing about chaos,
is that while it disturbs us,
it too, forces our hearts to roar
in a way we secretly find magnificent.
- Christopher Poindexter
Where should I begin? Some days I feel as though I have been punched in the face multiple times with Thor's hammer. Other days I feel like I am living on a cloud. And I guess that's what this life is all about. The ups and downs, the bad days that subsequently come with the good. But I have been trying my hardest to keep my head up. Living every day in agony is not how I want to continue the next 70 or 80 years of my life.
My trip home was the reminder I needed that I am not alone. Sure I may spend 80% of my life alone in this apartment, but that doesn't mean I have to be alone. I have the most loving and supportive family on this planet. And there isn't a single thing that I couldn't ask of them. They are here for me no matter what. And I also have a handful of friends that I know would do the same for me. And those are the people I have been spending my time confiding in. It's those people that get me through each and everyday.
But at the end of the day I have to look at myself in the mirror. Am I happy with what I see? Am I satisfied with how my life has turned out thus far? Some things I am completely content with, and others I would change in a heartbeat. But if I want to see change than I am the first step. I have to get up and get myself happy. Because I can't waste anymore time thinking I will find it through other people. Sure right now I have NO IDEA what my future looks like. My life is complete and utter chaos... But that is why I posted that quote at the top of the page. It's time I find the roar in my heart. It's time I stood up for myself. I cannot and will not let anything or anyone for that matter bring me down. Life is too short to get caught up in unhappiness.
After all... I AM A WOMAN HEAR ME ROAR!!
And I hope you all can find your clarity in the chaos.
XOXO,
Katlin
